“Swimming with (Hollywood) sharks” Part I

I’ll never forget the day I received the first call from a Hollywood producer – I stuttered throughout the entire call. I was so excited, I was practically hyper-ventilating; especially because I didn’t expect my very first story to ever get anyone’s attention – let alone be offered what for me was a good chunk of cash for a couple of days worth of work. But this is the movie industry, a world where dreams come true overnight, right? Well, it sure as hell seemed that way!

 

I was offered an option agreement on the spot with an offer to write the screenplay. I remember it as if it were yesterday – it was on a December 22 nd and I was just wrapping up at work and getting ready for our office x-mas party. Needless to say, I got plastered that night. I celebrated the call and all that it represented. My friends and I could already picture me lounging by the Beverly Hills hotel pool, sipping cocktails and going through a pile of “hot properties” – everyone at the party that night thought I was going to make it in the business and move to L.A; that the next time they’d see me would be on TV giving my acceptance speech at the Academy Awards. That night and the weeks that followed were tons of fun and I wouldn’t change them – and the dreams – for all the money in the world; but reality didn’t quite work out as expected. I had just gone to bed with a Hollywood shark.

Weeks after signing my first writing contract, Mr. Jaws (as we are going to call him from now on), stopped by NYC and invited me to lunch. This was going to be our first lunch meeting; we were going to discuss how to move forward as his “associates” were eager to get the ball rolling.

 

I’m never on time for meetings, but I was early to this one. I had not gotten any sleep the night before and sat at the bar fidgeting, sweating, and developing all kinds of nervous tics while I waited. I know because I caught a glimpse of my reflection on a mirror across the room and realized I looked like I was having a seizure. So I stopped and tried to collect myself the best I could.

 

Mr. Jaws and I did a bit of “getting to know each other” before jumping into what his associates thought would be a killer new direction for my piece – what can I say other than I was young and could not conceal my disappointment; in the few weeks since we signed, these men had managed to turn a dark comedy about a “B” porn film director on the run into a mob parody where a misplaced duffel bag containing eight heads became the centerpiece of the movie. WTF, right?!?

 

Well, in their minds, it all made sense; after all, my hero – who lands a job at an Atlantic City casino after fleeing NYC – ends up carrying a duffel bag stuffed with the dead body of a midget “Mafia Don” from Staten Island; and all while being chased around town by his “family” members who believe he had a hand in their “Don’s fate”.

 

“The elements are all the same” – Mr. Jaws quipped – “You still have everything you want…”

 

“Well, not really” – I responded – “My story takes place in one single night in Atlantic City – it’s about a mob poker game gone wrong where my anti-hero and the new kid in the block, is burdened with the task of getting rid of the body of a midget “Mafia Don” after he witnesses his murder; it’s about him surviving the chase and how in the end he’s held hostage by all he knows. Yours, it’s about a duffel bag stuffed with eight heads that, after being picked up by an unsuspecting fellow at an airport baggage area, goes missing. I get that there’s a chase after that, but how the hell are these two stories the same?”

 

I could see it happening – I was going from hero to zero at lightning speed. I could actually see my dreams quickly drifting away and out of reach once again.

 

So what’s a new writer or outsider to do? Do you bite the bullet and write what they want you to? Do you cut your losses, cash in a small installment of your fee, and walk away? Or, do you try to compromise? And what if they don’t want to compromise? What do you do then…?

See you next week for the second installment of “Swimming with (Hollywood) Sharks”