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Roswell, New Mexico, United States

Any desert with Yucca trees.

Present Day

Present day with flashbacks up to 50 years ago.
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Submited by: Jordan Rivers (Writer)
Writer(s): Carl Perez
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Using alien technology, the Army transplants a solder's brain into a cactus for covert operations in the desert.


A small town sheriff takes his family camping in an effort to get closer to his kids. It's going to take a major effort on his part as his daughter continually has a cell phone glued to her ear and insists on wearing what he calls "two band aids with strings" and she refers to as a bikini top. His mischievous son drags his dead dog Mutt everywhere on a leash and throws sticks for it and talks to it as if it were still alive. Linda, sheriff Sam's wife, had the dog stuffed when the therapist told her the son Jeff was "suffering from separation anxiety" at the loss of his dog.
Meanwhile, soldiers are missing from their posts at the local military base, their guns left laying in the dirt, and General Store, who has a few lose screws of his own, insists that they've only deserted and wants their "bodies" laid before his feet. When his assistant reminds the General that his men might still be alive he's told, "Not my men, Corporal!"

Sheriff Sam is called from his vacation when an old miner is found wandering through the desert chanting, "Yucca Man!", his hair turned white as flour. The bumbling deputy Richard "Dick" Cabeza physically damages the miner further in an attempt to load him into the police unit to take him to the hospital.
As more victims show up with white hair and chanting about Yucca Man, both the military and sheriff Sam investigate the wild tales of a large Joshua Tree rampaging across the desert. But Yucca Man is no wild tale to General Store who, as a private, was part of an experiment to transplant a soldier's brain into a cactus. The aliens from the Roswell incident were actually two teenagers trying to get back to their planet before curfew, but were so drunk they crash-landed on Earth. Since then, in exchange for all the liquor they can consume, the alien teens have been teaching the Earthlings all about their superior science and technology.

The stakes get higher when Yucca Man falls for Bambi, the sheriff's daughter and abducts her after killing off her friends. Jeff has also had an encounter with Yucca Man and he and his stuffed dog Mutt both have flour white hair and are muttering Yucca Man!

Enlisting the help of Bambi's new friend, a college boy named Biff who survived the Yucca Man assault, sheriff Sam sets out to rescue his daughter from the deadly succulent. But Yucca Man has an axe of his own to grind as he goes after General Store in a final showdown that Store loses.

It all comes down to sheriff Sam, the college boy Biff and Bambi herself who now insists she's a superhero who can break more than just the heart of a wayward plant. Finally, utilizing a lighter and Bambi's travel-size hairspray can, Yucca Man is set afire and flees the old mine shaft he has kept Bambi prisoner in.

All the victims at the hospital come to their senses, their hair colors returning to normal and are ready to go home. Sheriff Sam is proud of his son Jeff who has realized he doesn't need Mutt as a crutch any more. But no tears for Mutt as he's adopted by one of the soldiers who has recovered from his Yucca Man attack. It's a happy ending for everyone.
But is Yucca Man really dead?

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Cast Wish-List
  • Sheriff Sam Calhoun
    Male 0 Years old
  • Schitz the Clown
    Male 0 Years old
  • Linda Calhoun
    Female 0 Years old
  • Bambi Calhoun
    Female 16 Years old
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